List love: things we’re too old for

Now that we’re encroaching on our mid-thirties, we’ve been around the block a few times and racked up a fair bit of life experience. We are (hopefully) respectable, tax-paying members of society, and know a thing or two about bad relationships. We may be too young for sitting in the local RSL club for hours on end playing the pokies, but here are 5 things that we’re probably too old for.

5.  Staying at backpacker hostels

Hostels are a fabulous place to stay when you’re traipsing the world on a shoestring budget, not to mention all the fun travellers you will meet. However, the vast majority of backpackers are aged between 19 and 24 and you’ll end up getting sick of hearing how cool you are to be travelling “at your age” or rejecting their offers of partying every night when all you want to do is settle in with a good book.

4.  Furnishing an entire house with second-hand or IKEA furniture

When you’re a student or starting out in your career, spending thousands of dollars on furniture severely dents the beer or partying budget. Inevitably, this means that your house is furnished with hand-me-down couches or resembles an IKEA catalogue. Your thirties seems like a decent point in time to throw away the tight-arse mentality and actually buy some quality furniture instead of using a propped up slab of pine board on two milk crates as a coffee table.

3.  Describing everything as “awesome”

There are more adjectives in the English dictionary than “awesome”. By your thirties you should have learnt a few of them.

2.  Facial piercings

For the most part, people get piercings and tattoos to show their individuality. Unfortunately for those with their ex’s name tattooed on their buttocks or the logo of their favourite band from 20 years ago on their bicep (worse if they have since released a shocking comeback album), they’re pretty permanent. Thankfully, piercings can be removed leaving little trace, but one wonders, at what point in your life does that eyebrow ring or tongue stud look a little ridiculous for your age and should be taken out?

1.  Wearing mini skirts and platform heels

One word. COUGAR.

Facial piercings - how old is too old?

* Image courtesy of


5 thoughts on “List love: things we’re too old for

  1. Um – platform heels and a mini skirt? I’ve got another awesome 10 years left in me for them, thank you very much!

  2. Number 5 made me laugh out loud. Haven’t experienced it myself but have a very vivid mental picture of the situation.
    Agree on 4 but no matter how much I have been trying – somehow I seem to end up with Ikea or second hand. Or both. Or new that looks second hand. Oh the irony.
    Number 2 I have never understood. Never mind the age. I see a facial piercing and all I think is “oooooohhh the pain”
    Last but not least number 1: these women also always seem to feel the urge to wear tight tops. If they at least could refrain from *that*. (Especially if they obviously aren’t built for it)

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