Gay or straight: does it matter?

You know how the saying goes: “As long as they are healthy, I don’t care whether it’s a boy or girl.” And for most soon-to-be parents, I’m sure that is the case.

But what if that choice was whether their child was gay or straight?

A lot of people will probably baulk at what I’m about to say – but I have to admit, I do care.

If I one day decide to have a child, and am lucky enough to actually conceive one, there is only one sexual orientation I would want for my beautiful baby – and that isn’t the one that is still a clear minority in this world.

Now please don’t take offence. If my child did indeed turn out to be gay, I would love him or her with the same unconditional love as I give to all of my family. Some of my closest friends and family are gay – and, surprise! They are warm, smart, loving, fantastically normal people.

But living in big cities as we do, it’s easy to forget that homosexuality isn’t common everywhere in the world. Unfortunately, there are still towns, cities, schools, workplaces, cultures and religions where homosexuality is still frowned upon. Where those who have had no choice in the matter are discriminated against, not afforded the rights that those of us lucky enough to be heterosexuals take for granted, and where they feel unable to be themselves.

So would I choose a life for my child that was unnecessarily difficult? Where they might struggle through their formative years, being singled out for being different? Where later in life they may even be deprived of the choice to get married to their same sex partner?

Of course not. I want to protect anyone I care about. I want to make sure that they have all the opportunities in the world, that they don’t get hurt (well maybe just enough to ensure a healthy does of humility!) and that they are considered equal to their peers around them.

But if my future baby does happen to be gay? I can only hope that they are met with open minds and open hearts, and that they treat others the way that they would like to be treated.

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2 thoughts on “Gay or straight: does it matter?

  1. Great post filled with honesty and openness, but can I just say, in the same spirit, no one really chooses to be gay, they may choose not to act on any attraction for the same sex, but they cannot choose whether or not that attraction exists. If someone had asked me if I’d have chosen to have a child with Autism, in all honesty before he’d arrived I would have said no, but my son cannot choose and there fore neither can I, But what I can choose to do, and what many parents of gay children also choose to do, is to back their child and fight alongside them when needed. I choose everyday to be nothing short of always in my sons corner. So maybe… the choice isn’t so much whether or not you would choose to have a gay child, maybe it’s more about what you choose to do today to help everyone’s child, gay, straight, autistic or otherwise, feel wanted, loved and welcome.

    • Completely agree – there is absolutely no choice in the matter, and I can only hope that everyone in the world treats others with as much respect and love as they expect to receive. That is what I hope I will be able to teach my future child! Thank you so much for your comment, and your openness regarding motherhood and your son’s autism.

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