List love: the whiter the better

Before you all get your knickers in a twist, I’m not referring to the colour of someone’s skin. SHAME ON YOU!

No, no, I’m talking about teeth.

Let me break it down for you: the best thing about Americans (and believe me, I love them, in fact, I’m related to some of them) is their teeth. Pretty much every American I know has dead straight, super white teeth. And I love it. I’m jealous of people with amazing teeth, repulsed by people with really bad teeth, and I dream about what it would be like to have a set of perfect pearly whites (answer: mind-blowing. My hotness rating would increase at least a half point. On a scale of 1 to 10, I might add, which is significant in statistical terms).

So why is it so important to have stunningly white teeth? Here are my top 5 reasons:

5. You look more tanned

See, I told you I wasn’t referring to the colour of someone’s skin. White is definitely not better, but tanning is a no-no if you don’t want to end up looking like a crispier version of the elephant man when you get past 60. When your teeth are yellower than your skin, you aren’t doing yourself any favours. A glowing white smile gives you the equivalent of a fake tan – without the hassle.

4. You look more successful

I’m not exactly sure I could define what success looks like, but I’m pretty sure it would be well groomed. People who are organised generally seem to go far in life – probably because everyone else is trying to remember what it was they forgot to write down that they absolutely had to do if they didn’t want to get fired. You exude organisational skills, people trust you. People trust you, you get promoted. The key to looking organised? Grooming. The key to looking groomed? White, straight teeth. (I’ve just given you the key to success, right there, for no charge – remember to thank me when you get your next promotion after having your teeth whitened).

3. You look happier

Or is that you genuinely are happier, because every time you look in the mirror and you see those gorgeous teeth of yours, you think “what’s there to be sad about when I look this good?” Either way, people with great teeth smile more, radiating happiness and passing it on to others. The saying “smile and the world smiles with you” didn’t come about because it wasn’t true.

2. You’ll get more dates

First impressions count, and if someone’s first impression is that you’re a chain smoking, coffee swilling addict who can’t afford a trip to the dentist, well let’s just say that no Armani suit is going to get you under their covers later that night (although your sterling wit still might, but why risk it?).

1. Your friends can always find you under UV lighting

Saving on mobile phone bills, and the frustration of having to cruise the nightclub multiple times for each other. Obviously not quite so applicable if you’re having the face sucked off you on the dancefloor, but frankly if I had teeth like that to show the world – I’d make them dance behind me.

Image courtesy of stock.xchng

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