I gotta tell ya, I’ve been lucky. There have been some seriously top notch presents I’ve received in the past: an iPad, kindle, champagne flutes with Swarovski crystals filling the stems, afternoon teas, great meals out, jewellery, huge prints, stylish hats and purses.
But there have been some that haven’t been quite on the money as well. And I mean absolutely no disrespect to the gift givers who obviously took the time to get me something in the first place, and who obviously didn’t chose these presents to purposely disappoint me – but sometimes, you really can’t please everyone. Here are my picks of the not-so-good.
5. Olive oil
My first Christmas with the family of an ex of mine involved quite a bit of gift selection heartache. After deliberating over whether to get his sister the silk scarf or the travel book for her upcoming trip, I settled on the book – a safe bet that would definitely come in handy, and demonstrating thoughtfulness that I had remembered she was going away.
What I got in return was a bottle of olive oil. Not in a special dispenser, or particularly large, or even fancy. Just straight olive oil. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even cook back then.
4. A cookbook
You’re probably exclaiming to yourselves in surprise over this one, given my well-documented appreciation of cooking and love of food porn. And that’s probably exactly what my gift giver was thinking – “She’ll love this! Cooking is so her thing!”
Unfortunately, it was a cookbook for Chinese food. Not from a famous chef or from a famous restaurant, just a bog standard 100 Chinese recipes. I’M CHINESE. The gift giver was NOT CHINESE. It’s like spitting in my face and telling me you think I don’t know anything about my own culture. I love cookbooks – just stick to maybe non-ethnically contentious ones in future, ok?
You know when you draw a secret santa name out of the hat at work, and you genuinely don’t know the person you’re buying for? The most thoughtless present in chocolates. What you’re basically saying is you couldn’t be bothered to find out anything about me, or even take into consideration that I’m a girl that works in Marketing (because let’s face it, that’s the minimum amount of information you’d have). You bought literally the most generic thing you possibly could, suitable for absolutely anyone. That’s just depressing.
2. A zorbing experience
I’m sorry guys – you know who you are. And YES, on the surface of things, this was a brilliant present to get me – an experience, something fun and adrenaline pumping, something I hadn’t done before. It ticked so many boxes *sigh*.
Unfortunately the reality was a 45 minute drive into the middle of nowhere, a trek into a muddy field, to roll down a hill for about 30 seconds, with none of my friends around. Oh, and then a 45 minute drive back. It was fun. But it would have been much more fun with a group of friends and about 10 times the amount of hill to roll down.
1. Bath salts
Growing up in Oz, all I can remember is the drought. And water restrictions for washing your car and watering your garden. And campaigns encouraging you to turn off the tap when brushing your teeth, and only having two minute showers. WHAT KIND OF SICKO BUYS SOMEONE BATH SALTS knowing the country doesn’t have enough water?! Enough said.
What have been some of your worst presents?