List love: reasons not to celebrate NYE

Overrated. That’s my official declaration. And there’s not a soul who’s actually disagreed with me whenever I’ve said it.

New Year’s Eve is SO overrated.

There’s pressure to have fun, get drunk, spend money – and why, I ask you, should this be different to any other day?

Here’s my top 5 reasons why I’m having a dinner party this year instead of the usual NYE celebrations.

5. I won’t have to get crushed in a sea of drunk and smelly bodies all clamouring to get to the best vantage point for seeing in the new year; they won’t all step on my feet as we then shuffle to the next place where we’ll all “kick on”; and they won’t precariously push me towards the edge of the tube platform as more and more people stream into the station trying to get home. Instead, I’ll pre-order taxis for my dinner party guests who will wait in comfort with food and drink at hand for the early hours of the morning, and then pad upstairs to luxuriate in my comfy bed, warm, unharassed, and the only smelly body around.

4. I won’t have to spend a fortune to have a good time, and if I do, it will only be because I couldn’t resist treating my guests to fresh seafood platters and Taittinger (calm yourselves, neither of those are currently in my dinner plan). Rather than paying an extortionate amount to be on a boat, in a club, or in a usually average restaurant, I’ll be feasting like a king and drinking like a jester on reasonably priced but delicious fare (we hope).

3. I won’t wake up the next day and have to do the walk of shame. Refer to reason 5 above. More often than not, after 2 hours of trying to get home, I’ll abandon attempts and crash at whoever’s house I can walk to. Unfortunately that means a horrible journey home the next day, having not brushed my teeth for over 24 hours, mascara running down my face, and lank and greasy hair. No one wants to start their year on that kind of low. Instead, I’ll wake up fresh (albeit slightly hungover) as a daisy, and high five the other half when we discover there’s still leftovers and we won’t have to eat Macca’s.

2. I won’t get kissed by a bunch of drunk strangers, which, while totally fine in my youngers days, has somewhat lost it’s appeal now that I’m (a) not a backpacker and can bankroll my own drinks, (b) care more about personal hygiene, and (c) like to pretend that I’m more of a lady these days.

1. I won’t have to moan about my feet. Killer heels look incredible, but when you’ve trooped around town, danced, and then had to do the walk of shame, they’re just not all that. If my guests are lucky I might slip on a pair for bubbles and canapés, have them off by the main course, and be in my uggs by dessert. Snug, happy, and ready to ring in 2013.

Happy New Year everyone!

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* Image courtesy of stock.xchng

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4 thoughts on “List love: reasons not to celebrate NYE

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